So day FOUR...I have reached 'that point', I don't think I can do this another day. Today I did see a lot of improvement. They got up and walked around this morning and I saw some smiles but it didn't last long. After getting them into bed---I ran into my room and put my Ipod on as loud as possible and attempted to disappear. I feel better now---just having a little time to myself did help but I just feel as if I have nothing left to give them. I am hoping they sleep well so I can sleep well and feel prepared to start all over again in the morning. Of course I hate it for them, feeling as bad as they do, but sometimes there is just nothing I can do to help them. Hannah was so upset---she wanted me to hold her but then she couldn't get comfortable so she squirmed and cried so I tried everything to try and understand what she wanted me to do but she didn't even know....finally after an hour of that she fell asleep on me---so I didn't move, didn't want to go through that again, ya know? Finally I had to move because Nora was screaming and so we start all over again. "My mommy, NO...my mommy....I want to cuddle with mommy...NO...I want to cuddle with mommy...mommy please cover me--please uncover me...please get me water, please get me some juice....I have to pee can you carry me and watch me and hold me while I pee...can I have a tissue---Oh, my nose burns when I wipe it---followed by many screams....my neck hurts....my head hurts....my throat hurts...." Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Almost DID NOT survive this day
So day FOUR...I have reached 'that point', I don't think I can do this another day. Today I did see a lot of improvement. They got up and walked around this morning and I saw some smiles but it didn't last long. After getting them into bed---I ran into my room and put my Ipod on as loud as possible and attempted to disappear. I feel better now---just having a little time to myself did help but I just feel as if I have nothing left to give them. I am hoping they sleep well so I can sleep well and feel prepared to start all over again in the morning. Of course I hate it for them, feeling as bad as they do, but sometimes there is just nothing I can do to help them. Hannah was so upset---she wanted me to hold her but then she couldn't get comfortable so she squirmed and cried so I tried everything to try and understand what she wanted me to do but she didn't even know....finally after an hour of that she fell asleep on me---so I didn't move, didn't want to go through that again, ya know? Finally I had to move because Nora was screaming and so we start all over again. "My mommy, NO...my mommy....I want to cuddle with mommy...NO...I want to cuddle with mommy...mommy please cover me--please uncover me...please get me water, please get me some juice....I have to pee can you carry me and watch me and hold me while I pee...can I have a tissue---Oh, my nose burns when I wipe it---followed by many screams....my neck hurts....my head hurts....my throat hurts...." Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!
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Those poor girls (and poor mommy too)! It's hard when they're so miserable! Saying a prayer right now that tomorrow is better! (Your girls sound so much like mine it's SCARY! The fighting over mommy and carry me to the bathroom, and I need my blankie, no not that one and on and on and on....) Now if only I could get Lily to keep the mask on her face, but it doesn't stay very well. I end up having to do all of her nebs blow-by, which takes about 20 mins if I have to do a combo neb (Xoponex/Albuterol and Pulmicort). Sending hugs and get well wishes your way!
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