Grace like Rain

Can you feel it?!

It is pouring down all over you! Look up, close your eyes, taste it on your lips, and then take a drink from the only source that can satisfy your deepest longings.

God's grace is like rain pouring down all over me and my stains are COMPLETELY and TOTALLY washed away.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Lost in the forest...

Imagine with me that you are in a forest. Everything is very dark, gloomy, disgusting. The trees form a canopy above you that block the rays of the sun....if there is even a sun. It is hard to tell if it is even day or night. The temperature is cool and damp and everywhere you look you see trees. Some trees are disfigured in appearance, some are gnarled and twisted, some half green or dead. Many of them have hardly any leaves on them, some are tall and some are even dwarfed. You finally see some light, the trees begin to become scarce and before you realize you are stepping out of the forest. As you move away from the forest you turn around and things begin to look different. The forest isn't what it appeared to be at all. The dark gloom, filled with nasty, dead trees, appears a lot different now that you are looking at it with a different perspective. Individually the trees may be thin, think, dwarfed, tall or twisted but together they create something beautiful. As you move further away you begin to see something that you were not even aware of--a beautiful mountain. The sun is setting, the sky looks magnificent, and all of those trees together make up one beautiful picture.

This is a 'picture' of the "you can't see the forest for the trees" syndrome. It refers to our tendency to get caught up in the details thereby missing the important message in the bigger picture. Each tree, the dead one, the twisted one, the one with no leaves, could represent different struggles in our lives. It is so easy to ONLY see what we are struggling with and to miss the lesson, to miss the bigger picture of what God may be wanting to do, or just to forget that in view of eternity (the mountain) this is nothing.

I have such a tendency to get caught up in the small struggles of every day life. Some days I have hard time seeing that there will even be a tomorrow not even considering next year or most of all eternity.

Having a Christlike perspective is SO important but so hard to do. Wouldn't it be great if we could see that a struggle that we may have, for example, in our marriage, could be a great thing that could have an affect on generations to come?! Maybe just maybe....if I choose to have a good attitude with something that may be difficult...that maybe it has NOTHING to do with me. Maybe I am only a tool that God is using to help my girls down the road make the right decision in their marriage, so their children can do the same. I am just one small person in the big, HUGE picture of God's story, who knows what God wants to use me for but I need to choose to be obedient and Christlike, so what kind of part am I going to play? Will I get stuck in the forest looking at a big dead tree or will I look for the mountain?!

Let us not get stuck looking at the details of every struggle, attempting to analyze them and worry about them, instead let us keep the 'mountain' in our view. Let us get out of the forest, take a look at what is around us, in front of us and most importantly what is above us.

I know, I know...another LONG one. My 'family' blog seems to be turning into my online journal and I am sorry, but my gracious Father has just been turning my eyes inward so much over the past month or more and I am appalled with what I see.

I have really been seeing the deep, dark, and ugly parts of my heart and have been overwhelmed with how much change needs to come about. "Thank you FATHER that You are my help because I could never tackle this all on my own. "


(pictures above: Small looks at fall in New England from my backyard, the mountain picture is from the camp we worked at while living in NC--that was in my backyard, beautiful, huh? I add so many pics because I have a friend who gets lost in the words, the pictures help break it up for her and keep her interested :) )


Monday, October 29, 2007

That wonderful day?

I have never liked my birthday. Well, I am sure I enjoyed it when I was a lot younger but since I turned 13 I have had some horrible b-days (death of people, death of animals, attempted deaths, everyone forgetting, etc...) I have arrived at the place that the less people that know the better because it passes by without as much disappointment or hurt. This year was another b-day I wish I could have skipped over but a few did really try to make it special for me...so, thank you. I appreciate the thought, time, and the love.

Fall fun

Girls playing

Hannah Talk

"You Bememba" (You remember)

"Can I have a dink please." (drink)

"Yip it up" (zip it up)

"I'm firsty." (Thirsty)

"Dowa Dowa" (Nora Nora)


(PHOTO ABOVE: Well, the cold has come and my sunflowers are just about gone. So I have been trying to capture photos of whatever is left so I can hold on to them a bit longer)

Fall fun

Here are some photos of us playing last week. Above--I know that Hannah is chewing on gum but I have no idea what Nora is chewing on...I looks like a leaf and it being Nora I wouldn't be surprised.










Below I was being buried.






Saturday, October 27, 2007

Bunny love

Friend, Robin, bought rabbit.
Girls love rabbit.
Girls want to eat like rabbit.
Mommy goes store to embrace raw veggie love and smiles to watch girls eat like rabbit.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Things I love and Things I hate....

My girls bring me so much joy. Years ago when Hannah and Nora were very small, very sick all the time, never sleeping, and Emma was in her toddler stage--whining very often, a woman said to me, "Oh, children are such a blessing.", now I have heard that SOOOO many times and I never really thought anything of it, it was just something that 'older people' said.

This time was different though...I could see it in her face that she was serious, very serious, and it caught my attention and shocked me. I actually said to her, "Are you serious, you really mean that don't you?" I came home and told Kevin and we had a little laugh about it.

After that day, life with my girls bothered me, it bothered me because I knew that I was missing something. Yes, there were occasions that I enjoyed my girls, but I was stressed, and I never considered them a blessing. Well, I started praying about this, praying that I could see my children that way, that I could enjoy them and slowly God started changing me. My priorities started changing, my perspective started changing, and I began to get a taste of what enjoying your children really meant. Here I am, years later, still having tough days when children are not all that enjoyable, BUT they do bring me SOOO much joy. I can honestly say that I LOVE being with them. I ache to be with them. I am honored to be their mommy and they really are a blessing to me.

The past few days have been beautiful. We went to the farm to get pumpkins (I forgot my camera)...we went for a GREAT hike (I forgot my camera). The colors are just breathtaking. I am overwhelmed with how to capture it all in photo and I don't know where to start. New England in the fall is picture perfect...I could never express it in words. The weather has been great and we have spent many hours outside trying to take it all in.

Here are photos of us enjoying art....while enjoying God's art as well.

My title..."Things I love and Things I hate...." I love my girls and being with them, and being creative with them, but I HATE cleaning up paint and this time it was everywhere.

Here Clifford Clifford....


This is the influence of Clifford the Big Red Dog....every little girl wants a dog that they can ride around on, right?! So, they are wondering..."What's UP!"

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Looking for the lesson....

There are so many things to be thankful for but boy is it easy to get caught up in a negative attitude, and to only see what is going wrong and then to dangerously fall into a pity party saying "why me...I don't need this...don't I already have enough to deal with?!" On days when things are 'good' and I am on a 'spiritual high', I understand that the way I am stretched, the best way for me to grow, and to become more Christlike, is to go through difficult times...(in order to learn how to be patient I need to be put through situations that require me to be patient.) So, during those times, when I am strong, happy, etc....I have a 'bring it on' kind of attitude...I want more suffering so I can have something to persevere through (it is a pride attitude, saying bring it on because I am strong enough)...of course I never ask for more suffering but that is just the kind of attitude that I think my heart has. Anyway, without me realizing...in comes my opportunity, to pass or fail, to have a good attitude or to complain, to grow and learn, or to question God and pity myself.

Well, I just went through one of 'those moments' (just to clarify, before this moment came I didn't have a 'bring it on' attitude, I actually already felt stretched to my limit) and I hate to admit it, but I failed. At the very end I started to recognize my bad attitude, my complaining spirit, my thinking that I don't deserve to be going through this, and therefore missing my chance to 'shine like a star in the universe'. I have learned a lot through the 'suffering' I just went through. I have seen that things could always be worse and the stress level that I am experiencing right now or that I was experiencing prior to 'that moment' really isn't or wasn't that bad. I have also come away with more empathy and understanding for people that go through, what I just went through, on a daily basis, and for LONG amounts of time. Wow, to have a taste of that, just blew me away and now I know how to better pray for those in a similar situation. I have also seen that I have some big changes to make in my heart, in being more Christlike--having a genuine love for others-- mostly the difficult ones, to be respectful--even when I feel someone doesn't deserve that respect, and to have a servants heart with a good attitude and to not be looking for what I am going to get out of the situation.

I am sorry that I failed my Father, with my grumbling and bad attitude, but I know there will be plenty of other opportunities in the future for me to try again, so I just hope next time that I recognize when it is coming or when I am in it and respond accordingly. For those that are close to me...if you see me in 'that state' again--Please slap me and put me back in my place.

For now, I will be trying to look for the lesson, when the opportunity comes, and I encourage you to do the same.

(The pictures above are of Hannah)

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

The art of food....

Lately I have just been in awe of food, not with eating it, just looking at it.

As many of you know I love being outside. I like the colors and the smells of a gloomy, dark day. I love a bright blue sunny sky too...I love the blue sky, next to my bright yellow sunflowers (picture I took in post below)...the colors just blow me away.

I have been noticing that same thing with food and I have been trying to capture the beauty I see with my camera. It has been great being home a bit more. I love having more time to cook and the weather has been so cool so it has been a great time to enjoy comfort foods. This morning when we left the house it was 37...and it felt great.

Pictures of God's beautiful fall display coming soon....meanwhile, I hope you are not hungry.